The web abounds with relationship experts. Often these “experts” are trying to sell something, a book or a newsletter.
In itself, nothing is bad with sales. Everyone has to make a living. However, much of the guidance appearing is boneheaded. In some cases it almost nearsthe absurd, even the criminal. For example, one expert recommends that if a girl declines to give her telephone number, the man should “assert” his power and keep asking for it with ever increasing intensity. He says the woman doesn’t really mean “no,” that her declining to give her number is a “test. This is patently bad advice.
So, here are some tips on picking a relationship expert you can trust.
Tip One: Degrees aren’t necessarily a guarantee of expertise. Some of these people have degrees from universities no one has ever heard of. Some have “real” degrees. Neither matters if the advice is bad.
Tip Two: Determine if the expert only focuses on dating advice. He or she has more believability if their concerns are broader and include family, siblings, business and other relationships beyond romantic ones.
Tip Three: Has the expert published any books? Any scholarly papers? This is a good tip-off that he or she has a real academic background. Typically, a good academic background suggests the person has done their homework. Not every one can be an Oprah.
Tip Four: Beware of promises. Relationships take hard work. “Ten easy steps to a blissful fulfilling relationship may contain some helpful basic advice such as “Be considerate” or “Listen to what she’s saying.” But it’s unlikely that blissful relationships are achieved that easily although it’s true that it does all of us good to be more considerate or to listen more.
Tip Five: Look for client endorsements. Read these carefully.
If you can’t find an expert you trust consider following some of the KEYWORD2‘ target=’_blank’>regular women who are dealing with real issues. And because most blogs are interactive, you can join the conversation.
These blogs can show you how women and men are dealing with real world, meaningful issues that worry all of us. They’re not promising magical results in seven or ten easy steps. Far from it.
These issues include dating while raising children, managing a relationship with an ex, parental intrusions into the lives of adult children, working, etc., etc. Some are humorous. Some are serious. Some combine humor with gravity. But all of them are free. And, if you engage in the conversation, you will get valuable reaction from people dealing with many of the same issues you are.
And, best of all, they’re free.
So, if a
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