A lot more people are casually using online dating when they are single, and there is nothing wrong with that. After all it does make it easier to meet new people, so why not make the most of it? Some of us will be registered on more than one dating site, even if those accounts end up being dormant once we don’t need to use them any longer. But one question to be asked is: is it really that safe to have a few remaining online dating profiles that you’re not using, especially when you’ve entered a new relationship? Everyone has online accounts for services they no longer use, but could those remaining online dating accounts harm your couple life?
Just imagine it from this point of view: you’ve been with your new partner for a while and the relationship is going really well. One day they leave their laptop switched on, you’re not trying to spy on them but you take a quick glance anyway (curiosity killed the cat…). To your dismay, you see that their browser has some bookmarks for a few dating sites and you come to the conclusion that your partner is still trying to date online. It sounds like a fair assumption, but more to the point it makes your blood boil; so as much as you want to think the best of things, paranoia seeps in slowly. Later your partner comes back home and you either confront them about it, or you just stay silent.
If you accuse your partner, they realise that after all that time you still don’t trust them. They explain to you that those dating accounts they have from Kent dating sites are old and they don’t use them anymore. You wonder why they haven’t deleted those accounts, thinking that they still might want to use them in the future; if not they’re using them right now. You ask them if they are not happy with you to the extent that they are willing to get rid of those accounts. So was it an oversight on their behalf, or where they keeping those accounts in case things don’t work out between the two of you? Too many questions remain unanswered; and the trust in your relationship is severely compromised.
It is easy to forget to delete online accounts, after all we have so many of them; and not all of us are very good with the old electronic / online maintenance. Maybe you’ve still got some old links to find Devon Singles from where you used to live there. The question is: should you hold this against your partner? The truth is that those feelings are not easy to control, and a lot of people simply cannot sweep that sort of stuff under the rug.
Then it all comes down to this: will your partner accept to show you’re their online dating accounts to prove to you that they haven’t used it in a long time? It might be alright if they are using a ‘soft’ dating but what if some of those sites are adult dating sites? Do you really want to know what they’ve been up to, even if those activities took place before you got together? Not everyone wants to discover their partner’s sexual past, it is something that some people just cannot get their heads around, and there is no turning back once you do know.
On the other side, wouldn’t you feel more suspicious if your new partner deleted all their online dating past after they got together with you? What are they hiding from their past that you shouldn’t know? Basically. It’s a lot of questions for what is one of the biggest midfields in the love sphere. The reality is that there is no ideal solution to this, we all have a past and our new partner should accept us for it.
It’s just a shame that omitting to delete some online accounts you’re not using anymore could result in the breakup of your relationship. So when it comes down to it, you should probably to a little clearance of your online dating activities. Forgetting to do so can have unwanted consequences, so let’s clear the air. If however you don’t want to get rid of your online dating accounts, you might want to ask yourself how happy you really are with your partner. If you’ve always got that escape route planned, then maybe it’s time to break it off and move on to doing what you want instead of pretending to be happy in your relationship. Harsh, but true.
