Does your boyfriend still bring you flowers? Unexpected presents? Sometimes put on mood music and light candles at dinner?
Well, I’ll be darned! That’s so hard to believe!
Actually, it’s not hard to believe at all. It happens all the time. And the reasons can be easily explained (we’ll get to that.)
What I know is that it makes your life feel bland. The “spice” is gone. Every day is the same monotonous routine. Perhaps you are contemplating an affair.
I often hear it said that “communication” is the key to relationship issues. So hopefully you’ve tried to talk to him about this. Right? And nothing’s changed? So much for “communication.”
Actually, I think “communication” is over-hyped. It is important, sure, but it is not the magic bullet that solves all relationship problems. You need to get this out of your head.
I suggest replacing “communication” with some basic knowledge about what makes relationships work or not work. THEN you’ll have something to “communicate” about!
Why do you want him to be romantic anyway? There is no functional purpose in it.
Whoa! Did I say that? (Just testing you.)
Being romantic does have a functional purpose. It says “you are special,” and that’s important for everyone to know and feel. It also provides a softer, quieter environment, even if for a short time, and this allows routine to fade away and renewed energy to come alive.
Who knows, it might even lead to sex!
So, what has he told you about his non-romantic behavior? “I just don’t feel it”? “I’m too tired”? “That’s silly woman stuff”? “There isn’t time”?
These are all excuses for not facing the issue. And what is the issue? YOUR FEELINGS!
You have a right to have feelings, and to have them acknowledged, …Continue reading »