Having marriage problems? Join the club! There are many other people out there feeling exactly like you do right now. Unfortunately, knowing that fact doesn’t make it any easier to deal with as solving the problems can be easier said than done. It helps if you know what is causing the problems.
Many problems with marriage start when one or both people in a marriage put unrealistic expectations on their partner. This happens more often in marriages that involve people who got married at a young age and have not had a lot of relationship experience, but it can happen with experienced relationship goers as well. These unrealistic expectations can cause problems including anger, disappointment, and frustration. Sound like you?
Here are just a few of the most popular unrealistic myths that cause problems with marriage for many couples.
Movie Type Romance
Movies give us ideas about what life should really look like, and we eat it up! Unfortunately movies are not real life. Marriages on movies are often filled with great romance and tear-filled moments of joy, but real marriages don’t tend to portray a pre-written script. Movies create a fantasy which is hard to live up to.
When the fantasy of this perfect romance doesn’t come true it can be easy to create problems in the marriage through accusations of how things should be. Hurt feelings and a lot of let downs are in store for the marriage that thinks movie type romances should be what they marriage looks like.
The Perfect Spouse
Did you enter the marriage thinking that you were ending up with a perfect partner and now realize that this may not be the case? If you got married without spending some time getting to know each other then you may wake up one day and say “My partner is full of things that I don’t like!” and of course this may cause problems with your marriage – to say the least.
Many people wear their shiny happy faces for the first part of a relationship. This may be for months or even years. Once they take off their shiny happy faces and reveal their true identity’s it can be quite a shock to their partner. This is why it’s important to be honest in new relationships. Honesty is one of the key traits to make the marriage really stand the test of time.
No Hiccups Should Occur in Marriage
Beauty and the beast, Cinderella and Prince Charming, they both have one thing in common – we never get to see what happens after they end the show in a happily ever after tone. The truth is that in real life we do not stay happily ever after forever. There are hiccups in the marriage that can cause problems and issues, but they are normal!
You and your spouse are not always going to be on the same wavelength in life. You are two unique people with varying beliefs and needs and sometimes this is going to cause conflict in your marriage. You have to be ready for that or it will be hard to deal with issues that come up.
The important thing to remember is that honesty, understanding, and communication can get you through these hiccups. If you are honest with each other about your feelings and understand that you are coming from different places then you can communicate a resolution that makes you both happy.
So remember, if you are having problems with your marriage, don’t give up. Take a look at the common marriage myths that you bought into and change your expectations of a marriage. Marriage shouldn’t be horrible, but it’s not always going to be perfect. Put the effort into overcoming your marriage problems and you will find that you will begin to sail along smoothly again.
You Can Prevent Your Divorce – How to Stop a Divorce When Everything Looks As Grim As Possible!
An ending marriage surely is one of the worst mental experiences one can go through. When things go sour and a divorce starts to show its ugly head, it’s impossible not to remember all those happy days; the marriage ceremony, the honeymoon, etc. They only make everything worse now. But cheer up – you can stop that divorce.
What you have to know first to do so, though, is that there is no quick fix to a marriage. If your marriage looks as if it’s going to end, chances are there are deeply rooted problems that grew and grew until it all came to this. So – trouble didn’t appear overnight and it won’t go away overnight. Unfortunately, an ending marriage makes one go wild with desperation with the “I must do something before it all falls apart!!” urge. When you have the urge to act, but not know what to do; you go looking for that quick fix, which almost always ends up in you begging your spouse. Avoid this.
What really should be done, however, is just the opposite. Stop searching for that quick fix. In order to do this, you first have to strip out of your “I must do something at once” state of mind and enter a calmer, more relaxed state. Doing so has innumerable benefits for you and your marriage. “Calm down” is actually a much crucial advice than it sounds to you at the moment. There is no doubt that you can save your marriage. But you can’t do that in a chaotic state of mind where you’re giving out knee-jerk reactions. What you need is a carefully thought plan of action that needs a wide perspective and careful consideration to construct. Thus, you must stop being so desperate, and possibly look for some outside advice. This was the turning point of my own marriage.